2015 omg

Happy New Year everyone hope it brings to you a year of blessings and happiness!

Forget the resolutions just live your life, it’s going by so fast…………..2015 holy crap I remember thinking I won’t be alive in 2015..It is such a long time away. Yet here I am.

So much has transpired during my 53 years (soon 54!)

I sure don’t think I have accomplished very much during my life, I have grown as a person though. I think! Not near as bitchy or bossy as I use to be, and not afraid to stand up for others, my beliefs and things that are important not just drama.

No more sweating the small stuff- especially at work. For the small amount of money I make, I feel used, not appreciated and let down. The only thing I care about is the great friends I have made and find it hard to think of leaving them.

Who knows what is in store but I believe God has a plan for me … one day at a time right?!!

Give me advice- PLEASE

Please, anyone give me some advice………

I am dealing with an older co worker that not only complains and gets angry at me, I am her dept manager, she also disrespects our superior, disagrees with any suggestions, she will redo a project that someone else has already done and today she refused to follow specific orders that our boss left us to do.
She has been with the company for many years and feels she knows better than anyone else, she does have a lot of experience and I do realise I can learn a lot from her however, everything must be done her way even if it comes from her direct superiors.
I can handle that, but when my boss tells me to do something and I do it, then my co worker changes the project even after I have explained that it comes from management….I am getting pissed. I almost lost it today she is very confrontational but I walked away.
This person has bullied and pushed around many co workers, I feel that we are a team but I deserve respect as well.
I think she needs to realise that no one is irreplaceable.

SO…….how do I handle tomorrow?

thanks for taking the time to read,           Gayle

So I got this job……..

Being a hermit hiding in this extra large monster of a house worked for me for a few months, along with a extra large monster dose of paxil and welbutrin. Not good for me, right……… got to do something…fill my time and mind with art and that worked. For awhile.
One day I got brave, printed up 3 resumes went to the neighbouring town and dropped them off at the 3 large retailers. Huge step for me and before I knew it I got this new job!
What a new adventure I have had, started part time and now am a department manager all in 2 months.

What the hell am I doing? All of my supervisors and bosses are younger than me, I have to learn new computer/inventory skills that scare and confuse the heck out of me. Customer service comes easy to me- I have a great game face. I get along with all the people I work with and for, but I have such huge doubts.

I feel such overwhelming fear that I am going to forget things and people are going to get tired of my incompetence. My son asked me during my not so good days where is the strong independent woman that raised him, sometimes I think she’s back, but then doubts and fears flood back.

Change is good

job

I love my job. I do.

lots of pent up frustration today

wondering why I bother

working so hard

always wrong

never right

new ideas, no

been done this way

forever

sick of hearing it

change is good

new is good

why do I bother

don’t put that there

we can’t change

time to let go

young ideas thrive

empty threats

do it old way or

I will quit

why do I bother

sick of hearing it

tomorrow a brand new day

smile

game face is on

I love my job, I really do.